Guest Post: Ghosts in the Machine, by Jenene Ravesloot

Note from Amelia: An early part of the apparitions project involved collecting the poetry and photography of other talented writers and artists to share as part of a greater anthology. This component of the project didn't quite come together for many reasons, but I wanted to share the finest work Jonathan and I received as part of our celebration of the book's publication and this incredible year of poetry. I'm sharing this spring and summer series alphabetically by last name. Today's layered, personal haibun, "Ghosts in the Machine," was written by Chicago poet Jenene Ravesloot, one my poetry collaborators and mentors:

Ghosts in the Machine

12/01/2016 PROCEDURE: CT Chest WO Contrast.
LUNGS/CENTRAL AIRWAYS: There is a 1.1 cm right upper lobe spiculated nodule corresponding to the abnormal chest x-ray. There are small satellite nodules adjacent to it.
CONCLUSIONS: 1.1 cm right upper lobe nodule with adjacent satellite lesions. Differential diagnosis includes lung cancer or an active granulomatous process. Recommend a PET scan.

breathing in and out
breathing in and out and in
practicing Zen breath

12/23/2016 PROCEDURE: PET/CT Skull to Thigh.
IMPRESSION: The F-18 FDG PET/CT study demonstrates metabolic activity in the 1cm right upper lobe pulmonary nodule, which is indeterminate for malignancy. If there is a strong clinical suspicion that this could represent an early malignancy, tissue sampling is suggested. Alternatively, follow-up PET/CT imaging in 6 months to one year is suggested to assess for any change in size or metabolic activity. There is no abnormal metabolic activity identified elsewhere in the chest, abdomen, or pelvis.

a small gift from you
a glass globe of swirling snow
many emotions

6/1/2017 PROCEDURE: CT Chest WO Contrast.
CONCLUSIONS: A 15 mm right upper lobe ground-glass nodule is stable from 12/1/2016. Given the size and morphology, this likely represents low-grade lung cancer. Multiple additional ground-glass and solid nodules measuring up to 4 mm are stable.

unable to sleep
the sound of a car alarm
this watchful waiting

11/27/2017 CT Chest WO Contrast.
CONCLUSIONS: A right upper lobe sub-solid nodule measures 18mm compared to 17 mm on 12/1/2016. Given the morphology, this is suspicious for low-grade lung cancer. The differential includes focal fibrosis. Multiple additional ground-glass and solid nodules measuring up to 4 mm are stable.

the final report
surgery recommended
lung cancer likely

"Ghosts in the Machine," copyright 2022 Jenene Ravesloot